The Dude

Platinum dive watch with diamonds on the bezel. Man. Look. If you're going 600 meters deep, you don't need diamonds. Diamonds don't help you dive. The diamonds are just there because someone decided the watch wasn't expensive enough already. That's not a watch decision. That's a divorce lawyer's watch. This will not stand, man.

This is what I'm talking about, man. This aggression will not stand. Ceramic, titanium, rubber, whatever it is. This thing looks like something Karl Hungus would wear. Watches don't have to look like industrial equipment. There's a whole spectrum between 'Casio F-91W' and 'this,' and this is way over on the wrong side. Not the preferred nomenclature.

The vintage Datejust. Look, I'm not saying it's a bad watch. It's actually a good watch, man. But it belongs on a certain kind of dude - accountants, lawyers, guys who wear jackets to Ralph's - and I am not that dude. It's fine. It's just not for me.

OK look, Grand Seiko is normally not my scene, man. Too fancy. But this dial? This Snowflake thing? Whatever, man. It's kinda beautiful. I saw one at some Japanese steakhouse and I sat there staring at it for like twenty minutes. That's a compliment.

Bauhaus, man. Max Bill. That's a good idea - form follows function. It's a fundamental. You look at this watch, you know what time it is. There's nothing else it's trying to be. Some watches try to be jewelry, or a statement, or whatever. This one just tells you the time.

The moon watch, man. Look, I'm no astronaut. But there's something about a watch that actually went to space that I can respect. It's chunky. It's honest. It doesn't have any diamonds on it. That last part is important.