Platinum dive watch with diamonds on the bezel. Man. Look. If you're going 600 meters deep, you don't need diamonds. Diamonds don't help you dive. The diamonds are just there because someone decided the watch wasn't expensive enough already. That's not a watch decision. That's a divorce lawyer's watch. This will not stand, man.
One asks: what is added to a diving watch by placing diamonds around its bezel? Upon examination, nothing. The diamonds do not improve legibility, buoyancy, or accuracy. They are, in the classical sense, mere ornament. And ornament unmoored from function is, I submit, a form of dishonesty - the object pretends to be a diving watch but is in truth a piece of jewelry that happens to resist water. This confusion of categories, if permitted, corrupts our judgment.
A dive watch with diamonds set around the bezel. I want to be clear: I am not opposed to diamonds. I am not opposed to dive watches. I am opposed to the combination. The diamonds are for a wife, a mistress, or possibly a chandelier. They are not for a dive watch. This is a category error. The watch is trying to be two things simultaneously and, in the attempt, becomes neither. I would return it. I would return it publicly.
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